Imponderable of the Day

Why doesn't the ATM know the cardholder is an English speaker, if English has been the chosen language for every transaction for 5 freakin' years?

War on Bad Websites 2007: First Sortie:bad forms

Note to online businesses and form designers:

When you require irrelevant information in a web form, don't be surprised if people deliberately fill out the form incorrectly.

For instance, I now have a magazine subscription being sent to me at:

Mrs.
Overlord
Overlord Industries, Inc

Lawrence Kansas.

Harbor Freight delivers a catalog to me addressed to "Rumplestiltskin".

T-mobile Online Refills Are Stupid

I use a T-mobile To Go prepaid cell phone because I don't use my cell phone much. It doesn't work at my house, and I find most cellular conversation barely tolerable.

To refill your plan online, you have to register for a "My T-Mobile" account. Just to add minutes to your plan. They want you to register to give them money.

Why is this so convoluted since I can "Buy minutes for another T-mobile customer" via the same web page without registration? So I when I refill, I use the second option and send the minutes to myself.

Normally I would send an email to customer service asking why some moron thought this was a good idea. Not this time, however, since I fear they might change this so everyone requires registration.

On a side note, I have now being using a pre-paid plan (out of choice, not necessity) for a year now and I will never go back.

Update: Screw it. This is war. I tried to send T-mobile a Site-ation, but couldn't because of the form character limit, which was secret.

Three Wines for Every Dinner

If you want a good selection of wines to take to any dinner but you don't know what people like, here are three bottles that should be quite acceptable to a broad spectrum of wine drinkers. They are also widely available.

This is based on availability in Kansas, so I have offered substitutes in all cases or in case your store doesn't carry the first choice.

The best part of this list is these wines are all under $10 per bottle. So take all three.

#1 Lindeman's Cabernet Merlot

This is a balanced red wine that is not so tannic and acidic that non-red wine drinkers won't like it, yet full bodied, fruity and flavorful enough to appeal to those who favor reds. Good with all kinds of meat and meat soups, bread and cheeses. Plus those who only order merlot will be inclined to try it since it's a merlot blend.

(sub Lindemans Shiraz Cabernet or Wolf Blass Shiraz Cabernet, Rosemount Grenache Shiraz even Ca'del Solo Big House Red.)

#2 Rosemount Estate Semillon Chardonnay

This is for the white wine drinkers who always order a chardonnay because it's the only wine other than merlot they know how to pronounce. It's also got enough oak and acidity and fruity balance to appeal to those who prefer white wines for those characteristics.
BTW, Semillon is pronounced many different ways: Say-meel-yohng, Say-mee-yoN (my preferred), or sem-ee-yon (easiest). Very good with white sauce pastas, cheeses.

(sub Lindemans Semillion Chardonnay, or possibly R.H. Phillips EXP Viognier (vee-ohn-yay), which I cannot link to due to their site design)

#3 Ironstone Vineyards "Obsession" Symphony

This is the wine for non-wine drinkers, or for the white zinfandel-only crowd. It has a little residual carbonation and hence is a little "sparkly" like a champagne, but it's barely noticeable and only there to help release the wonderful bouquet and aroma.
The bouquet is also very fruity (if a non-wine drinker doesn't want to try this based on smelling it alone, they won't like any wine) and yet not overly sweet. It finishes quite dry by comparison to other wines with so much fruit flavor and aroma. This is a characterstic of the (patended!) Symphony grape). Especially good with spicy food. This is my second favorite wine on the planet -- especially for hot weather -- and it's not very well known so it makes an impression. Don't be surprised if you need to take two bottles of this. This may be a little hard to find, because it's not in very high demand and Ironstone doesn't make a whole lot of it. In my wine circles, this is both the wine you don't want anyone to know about and at the same time the wine you want everyone to try.

(sub Ironstone Xpression which is a little sweeter and closer to a rose, or Ca' del Solo Big House Pink -- don't be fooled by screwcap)


I've owned a small vineyard, made wine and judged wine competitions, and drink my fair share of commercial and homemade wine as well. You can't go wrong with these three for any occasion.

(Footnote: I noticed most wine sites have you pick both your Country and enter your age before entering their site. If the deep links above don't work, it's their fault, not mine.)

Today's Site-ation: Walmart.com

Walmart.com, you've been Site-ed. A copy of this Site-ation could not be sent via their "Contact Us" page, because - surprise:


SITE-ATION


Your website has been cited for usability problems. Your violations are checked below. Please correct these problems. You may have had good intentions in your design decisions, but they are just making visitors confused and mad.

FORMS


(X) Lists countries (usually starting with Albania) or states in a popup menu.
(X) Asks for irrelevant information, such as a County or Salutation.
(X) Incorrect use of "Confirm" textbox where text is not masked and defined.
( ) Does not state data requirements for form fields (such as password requirements)
( ) Entirely too picky about format of data entered in forms.
( ) Erases entered information if you submit a form incorrectly.
( ) Has an easily missed "Accept terms" checkbox on a form.
( ) Requests credit card information with month names instead of digits and/or uses a popup menu instead of textbox.
(X) Fails to send copy of correspondence to sender from Contact form, or does not indicate on form.
( ) Form erroneously assumes pressing the enter key is equivalent of the submit button.
( ) Misuse of checkboxes and/or radio buttons.
( ) Inappropriately sized listboxes or text boxes.
( ) Popup menus with entirely too many items in them.
(X) Form responses too restrictive -- doesn't allow correct answer or "Other".
( ) Forms remove linewraps in text boxes. (unconfirmed)
( ) Contact Us form has a character limit.
(X) Does not validate data early to prevent wasting time entering more data.
( ) Uses a popup "Go" menu where selecting from menu clicks "Go" button.


SITE NAVIGATION


( ) Takes too long to load.
( ) Has links to a page on that same page.
( ) Improper use of frames.
( ) Contact information is non-existent or hard to find.
(X) Has advertising in inappropriate places, such as tech support.
( ) Employs unwieldy or unbelievably long URLs that cannot be easily emailed.
( ) Link Rot: bookmarks to pages on your site keep changing.
( ) So ugly as to induce epileptic seizure.
( ) Links go to the wrong location. Clarification:
( ) No search function, search results so noisy as to be useless, or relies on Google for site searches.
( ) Product information is too hard to find due to marketing B/S.
( ) Text on site is illegible.
( ) Pages do not wrap correctly.
( ) Forces user to paginate with "Next" and "Previous" links rather than scrolling up and down.
( ) Has distracting and unstoppable animation making pages hard to read.
( ) Uses a proprietary control such as scrollbars that do not work correctly.
( ) "Photo enlargement" doesn't actually enlarge anything.
( ) Worthless page titles or unbookmarkable page titles.
( ) Products are sorted in illogical manner.
( ) Used images where text is more appropriate.
( ) Does not list product price where it should be listed.
(X) Buggy scripts
( ) Most important information buried at bottom of scrolled pages.
( ) Navigation of web site mirrors organizational structure.

POINTLESS GADGETRY

( ) Uses non-standing links or colors for links or does not differentiate visited links.
( ) Prevents the visitor from bookmarking pages.
(X) Has a "Flash intro"
( ) Requires Flash to use even the most basic functions of site.
( ) Requires Flash where another technology would be much better.
( ) Use of PDF files when normal web pages would be better.
( ) Uses video when text and pictures should be used.
(X) Requires proprietary plugin for important site function.
( ) Illegible CAPTCHA

GENERAL RUDENESS

(X) Breaks basic browser functionality such as the back button, autofill, right-clicking, searching within a page, or copy/paste.
( ) Requires users to create an account unnecessarily.
(X) Opts-in the user for email newsletters.
(X) Uses a form for "contact us", instead of a real email address.
(X) Requires information in the "Contact Us" section that is irrelevant (e.g., requiring postal address for website problem)
( ) Pops up a "rate this site" windows after checkout.
( ) Jargon or other aspects of your process or intranet are leaking to your public web presence.
(X) Mysteriously and/or needlessly logs the user out.
(X) Needlessly opens new browser windows.
( ) Does not display order total before confirming purchase.
( ) Resizes browser windows.
( ) Needlessly asks for country before entering site.
( ) Places information in Microsoft Word documents when web page would be better.


Also, your site has forced the creation of several new offenses:

(X) Requires Internet Explorer for Windows.
(X) Form textbox in "Contact Us" page is tiny.
(X) Missing important web site function. Clarification: deleting photos from albums, 3x5 prints

2007: War on Bad Websites

Everyone's got a "War on" phrase, so I decided to have one as well.

I made a late new year's resolution. This is the year I order people to fix their crappy broken websites. Here's my first draft at the "traffic ticket" style feedback for crappy websites. I am no longer just "putting up" with dumb design decisions.

I am contemplating a t-shirt for this as well.

---

SITE-ATION

Your website has been cited for usability problems. Your violations are checked below. Please correct these problems. You may have had good intentions in your design decisions, but they are just making visitors confused and mad.


FORMS


( ) Lists countries (usually starting with Albania) or states in a popup menu.
( ) Asks for irrelevant information, such as a County or Salutation.
( ) Incorrect use of "Confirm" textbox where text is not masked and defined.
( ) Does not state data requirements for form fields (such as password requirements)
( ) Entirely too picky about format of data entered in forms.
( ) Erases entered information if you submit a form incorrectly.
( ) Has an easily missed "Accept terms" checkbox on a form.
( ) Requests credit card information with month names instead of digits and/or uses a popup menu instead of textbox.
( ) Fails to send copy of correspondence to sender from Contact form.
( ) Form erroneously assumes pressing the enter key is equivalent of the submit button.
( ) Misuse of checkboxes and/or radio buttons.
( ) Inappropriately sized listboxes or text boxes.
( ) Popup menus with entirely too many items in them.
( ) Form responses too restrictive -- doesn't allow correct answer or "Other".
( ) Forms remove linewraps in text boxes.
( ) Contact Us form has a character limit.
( ) Does not validate data early to prevent wasting time entering more data.
( ) Uses a popup "Go" menu where selecting from menu clicks "Go" button.


SITE NAVIGATION


( ) Takes too long to load.
( ) Has links to a page on that same page.
( ) Improper use of frames.
( ) Contact information is non-existent or hard to find.
( ) Has advertising in inappropriate places, such as tech support.
( ) Employs unwieldy or unbelievably long URLs that cannot be easily emailed.
( ) Link Rot: bookmarks to pages on your site keep changing.
( ) So ugly as to induce epileptic seizure.
( ) Links go to the wrong location. Clarification:
( ) No search function, search results so noisy as to be useless, or relies on Google for site searches.
( ) Product information is too hard to find due to marketing B/S.
( ) Text on site is illegible.
( ) Pages do not wrap correctly.
( ) Forces user to paginate with "Next" and "Previous" links rather than scrolling up and down.
( ) Has distracting and unstoppable animation making pages hard to read.
( ) Uses a proprietary control such as scrollbars that do not work correctly.
( ) "Photo enlargement" doesn't actually enlarge anything.
( ) Worthless page titles or unbookmarkable page titles.
( ) Products are sorted in illogical manner.
( ) Used images where text is more appropriate.
( ) Does not list product price where it should be listed.
( ) Buggy scripts
( ) Most important information buried at bottom of scrolled pages.
( ) Navigation of web site mirrors organizational structure.

POINTLESS GADGETRY

( ) Uses non-standing links or colors for links or does not differentiate visited links.
( ) Prevents the visitor from bookmarking pages.
( ) Has a "Flash intro"
( ) Requires Flash to use even the most basic functions of site.
( ) Requires Flash where another technology would be much better.
( ) Use of PDF files when normal web pages would be better.
( ) Uses video when text and pictures should be used.
( ) Requires proprietary plugin for important site function.
( ) Illegible CAPTCHA

GENERAL RUDENESS

( ) Breaks basic browser functionality such as the back button, autofill, right-clicking, searching within a page, or copy/paste.
( ) Requires users to create an account unnecessarily.
( ) Opts-in the user for email newsletters.
( ) Uses a form for "contact us", instead of a real email address.
( ) Requires information in the "Contact Us" section that is irrelevant (e.g., requiring postal address for website problem)
( ) Pops up a "rate this site" windows after checkout.
( ) Jargon or other aspects of your process or intranet are leaking to your public web presence.
( ) Mysteriously and/or needlessly logs the user out.
( ) Needlessly opens new browser windows.
( ) Does not display order total before confirming purchase.
( ) Resizes browser windows.
( ) Needlessly asks for country before entering site.
( ) Places information in Microsoft Word documents when web page would be better.


Also, your site has forced the creation of several new offenses:

---

Kansas City police kill babies

Read this when you aren't around anything you can break.

Personally I think $25,000 is off by at least one order of magnitude.