Top Ten Letter to the Editor Cliches (and Bonus)
I love a well-written persuasive letter or paper. There is a certain type of persuasive writing that just makes me cringe: the poorly written letter to the editor.
It's not poor grammar or bad ideas that make a letter bad, it's the same mistakes other people have been making for years: overused cliches and lame topics.
So I bring you the
Top Ten Letter to the Editor Cliches (aka "Don't Pick Up the Keyboard")
10. "So-called", "Supposed" and improper use of quotation marks.
These are not just tired phrases in letters, banish them from your vocabulary right now. Don't try to emulate the quotation hand gesture in a letter. It doesn't work the way you think it does.
9. Your personal and irrelevant social injustice
Someone stole your garden gnome. Call the police, don't write a letter to the editor. Better yet, don't call the police and just get a new gnome. Better yet, don't get a new gnome.
8. The exclamation point
You are allowed to use two exclamation points a year, unless you write ad copy for used car dealers. Don't waste these in letters to the editor.
7. Not just flawed, but overtly bad logic and reasoning
Before invoking the l-word in your letter, bounce your logic off of some strangers. Better yet, bounce it off a forensics major. Your logic should make the reader say "Ah, but here's the flaw". Not "Huh?"
6. "Really?", "What were they thinking?" etc.
Several phrases that say the same thing. This does nothing to further your point.
5. Driving behavior
Everyone thinks they are a better driver than anyone else. People drive a lot. People do stupid things to you while driving. We all know. Please don't write about this again. (I am going to cheat here, and lump in cell phones, the cost of gasoline, loud stereos and SUVs. Same song, different tune).
4. Hyperbole
Everyone overuses hyperbole all the time. I should just quit reading the paper entirely.
(Just so this is clear, any references to Hitler or Nazis fall into this category).
3. Writing about a subject that the readers and paper have no influence
The readers of your town paper are not capable of changing the behavior of the Supreme Court of the United States, Congress, the FDA, a war in other countries, or the Westboro Baptist Church. You picked the wrong audience.
2. "I had to laugh"
No you didn't, you had to write a letter to the editor, and this phrase is trite.
1. Quoting phrases every 1st grader knows.
Please do not quote
Just for the math geeks, we actually end at zero. The worst thing you can do in a letter to the editor is (drum roll please)....
0. Citing the dictionary
If you can't come up with a more inventive way to make your point, don't write. It might just be the case that your point is weak.
It's not poor grammar or bad ideas that make a letter bad, it's the same mistakes other people have been making for years: overused cliches and lame topics.
So I bring you the
Top Ten Letter to the Editor Cliches (aka "Don't Pick Up the Keyboard")
10. "So-called", "Supposed" and improper use of quotation marks.
These are not just tired phrases in letters, banish them from your vocabulary right now. Don't try to emulate the quotation hand gesture in a letter. It doesn't work the way you think it does.
9. Your personal and irrelevant social injustice
Someone stole your garden gnome. Call the police, don't write a letter to the editor. Better yet, don't call the police and just get a new gnome. Better yet, don't get a new gnome.
8. The exclamation point
You are allowed to use two exclamation points a year, unless you write ad copy for used car dealers. Don't waste these in letters to the editor.
7. Not just flawed, but overtly bad logic and reasoning
Before invoking the l-word in your letter, bounce your logic off of some strangers. Better yet, bounce it off a forensics major. Your logic should make the reader say "Ah, but here's the flaw". Not "Huh?"
6. "Really?", "What were they thinking?" etc.
Several phrases that say the same thing. This does nothing to further your point.
5. Driving behavior
Everyone thinks they are a better driver than anyone else. People drive a lot. People do stupid things to you while driving. We all know. Please don't write about this again. (I am going to cheat here, and lump in cell phones, the cost of gasoline, loud stereos and SUVs. Same song, different tune).
4. Hyperbole
Everyone overuses hyperbole all the time. I should just quit reading the paper entirely.
(Just so this is clear, any references to Hitler or Nazis fall into this category).
3. Writing about a subject that the readers and paper have no influence
The readers of your town paper are not capable of changing the behavior of the Supreme Court of the United States, Congress, the FDA, a war in other countries, or the Westboro Baptist Church. You picked the wrong audience.
2. "I had to laugh"
No you didn't, you had to write a letter to the editor, and this phrase is trite.
1. Quoting phrases every 1st grader knows.
Please do not quote
- The Ten Commandments or very well-known phrases from the Bible
- Common proverbs of apocryphal origin
- Benjamin Franklin, George W. Bush, Martin Luther King Jr., Caesar, Mark Twain, Shakespeare, Einstein, Will Rogers, Churchhill, Lincoln, Roosevelt or similar historical figures unless it's damn original and extremely applicable.
- The Constitution of the United States
- Mastercard commercials
Just for the math geeks, we actually end at zero. The worst thing you can do in a letter to the editor is (drum roll please)....
0. Citing the dictionary
If you can't come up with a more inventive way to make your point, don't write. It might just be the case that your point is weak.
posted by Rob at 6:09 AM
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