F*ck Me Pumps

I will drive out of my way to use a pay-at-the-pump (PATP) gasoline service. When this happens, nothing is more aggravating that to have to go in to see the cashier because something has gone wrong.

I feel like I am having my time doubly-wasted by the gasoline station, because I have gone out of my way, learned how to use their system (if it's different, which it often is) and then still have to go inside to see the cashier.

I've been keeping mental notes of the issues, in particular two gas stations I used to go to frequently, and here's what needs to be fixed, in order of importance.

How to Keep PATP Convenient

1. Don't let the printers run out of paper. As far as I can tell, there is no feedback to the cashier when a pump is out of paper. It baffles me when I prepay with credit card and go in to ask for a receipt, the clerks never ask me if the printer has a problem. Not only that, if I mention this, they don't do anything. My speculation is this is a combination of apathy and technical limitations. The pumps don't say when they are out of paper, and the cashiers don't care if they are.
2. Get better card readers. I use the same card for my ATM and most of my credit card transaction. The only time it fails to read is at PATP card readers. What's worse is many of them are programmed to lock out the pump after a certain number of misreads. I think this is combination of crappy construction and poor interface. The card readers that grab your card are very reliable. The ones that require you to insert and pull out or "swipe" your card are not.
3. Quit hanging hoses in front of the control panel. Having to pull aside a wet, oily hose to operate the pump is not pleasant, especially if you are in nice clothes. It also makes it hard to read while you are pumping.
4. Ask all questions about options at the start of the transaction. Do you want a car wash (if I did, I would be at the car wash)? Do you want a receipt? What grade of gas? This is again a combination of bad interface and technology. Fewer "yes/no" and more hierarchical menus with options. It should be read card, pick which package you want (with options, there should only be four: gas, grade, wash, receipt), fill car, go. When the receipt question is posed at the end of a fueling section, a customer can drive off and the next person in line might be able to print their receipt. If you select "No receipt" at the beginning of the transaction, this can't happen. You could still drive off and leave a receipt in the pump, but that's different than not knowing there was an unanswered question.
5. Fix your damn keypads and buttons. This is almost 30 year old technology. It's not hard to get durable and reliable buttons, switches and labels. Banks have figured this out. Vending machines have figured this out. Related to this subject...
6. Don't create homemade labels for the keypad. If the operation is not clear to the user, don't tape over the button with a new function or use a sharpie marker. Fix the root cause of the issue -- the programming of the pump and the keypad is wrong.
7. Don't use the same audible signal for everything. Several of the pumps I use have a beep or even a "triple beep" audible feedback. Audio feedback is always good unless the same thing for every action from "ok" to "waiting for keypress" to "take receipt". This is exacerbated by the badgering series of yes/no questions. Voice feedback -- a technology so cheap it's in greeting cards -- would be the preferred type of audible feedback, but if you can't do voice feedback there should be four distinct audio clues with unique "good" and "bad" sounds: input accepted, input not accepted, transaction done, and "are you still there?" This sort of understanding of interfaces has been around for decades. Why can't pump manufacturers follow their lead?

It's unlikely any of this will change. Gas stations want you to go inside for the profitable items. Gas station attendants aren't exactly known for their customer service either. Gas prices are pretty inelastic and I suspect the quality of service goes right along with this.